Karkat: Talk to Eridan
This truly is a weird moment. For some reason you cannot and will not even begin to attempt to explain, you feel the need to talk to Eridan. Welp, this will probably make his entire week.
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CG: ERIDAN.
CG: YOU BETTER BE DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB OVER HERE.
CA: yeah yeah im doin it
CA: wwhat do you wwant anywways
CG: I’M JUST MAKING SURE YOU ASSHOLES ARE DOING WHAT THE HELL YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
CG: BECAUSE APPARENTLY I CAN’T TRUST YOU IDIOTIC FUCKWITS TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT WITHOUT ME HAVING TO HOLD YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE FUCKING HANDS THROUGH EVERY GOD DAMN STEP.
CG: VRISKA IS A SHINING EXAMPLE OF WHY I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FROM THE START.
CA: kar are you blind noww too
CA: im not vvris
CA: as you can hopefully see im fully capable of doin a simple task like this
CA: i just taste each drink an make sure it isnt spoiled and if it is then toss it
CA: that is wwhat im suppose to be doin right
CG: ERIDAN NO. YOU DONT TASTE THEM.
CG: GOD DAMN.
CG: NOW WE’RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE HORROR THAT IS HAVING TO INDIRECTLY KISS YOUR DISGUSTING HIPSTER FISHLIPS.
CG: OH GOD.
CG: THAT’S DISGUSTING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT…
CA: come on kar it isnt that bad
CA: the kisses i mean
CG: SHUT UP.
CG: IT IS.
CG: AND NOW WE’RE MOVING ALONG IN THIS CONVERSATION.
CG: HOW MUCH WATER DO WE HAVE? ARE YOU AT LEAST COUNTING THAT?
CA: wwait im suppose to be countin too
CG: …
CG: OH HOLY SHIT.
CG: SERIOUSLY.
CG: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
CG: YES, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE COUNTING THE WATER YOU UNBELIEVABLE FUCKING DIPSHIT!
CG: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING COUNTING ALL OF THE DRINKS!
CG: WHAT DID I SAY?
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY??
CG: I NEED TO FUCKING WALK YOU ASSHOLES THROUGH EVERYTHING LIKE A FUCKING LUSUS.
CG: OKAY KIDS LETS ALL FUCKING CROSS THE ROAD NOW AND BE SURE TO HOLD HANDS AND ALSO DON’T STRAY TO FAR BECAUSE KNOWING YOU LOT YOU’LL ALL JUST FUCKING SKIP OFF AND RUN HEAD FIRST INTO THE FUCKING HOARDS OF UNDEAD FUCKWITS THAT WANT TO EAT YOUR STUPID DISGUSTING NON-EXISTANT THINKPANS!
CA: kar calm the fuck dowwn
CA: ill count your fuckin wwater
CA: one
CA: twwo
CA: three
CG: ERIDAN STOP
CG: THATS THE FAYGO
CG: GOD DAMNIT
CA: oh cod
CA: wwell
CA: i guess ill do that
CA: start my damn job all ovver
CA: counting all the wwater
CA: do i count the faygo too
CA: because if i do then in that case i can at least say wwe havve three for sure
CA: YOU KNOW WHAT.
CG: DO WHAT YOU WANT.
CG: I GIVE UP ON YOU. FOREVER. EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE DIES AND YOU AND I ARE THE LAST ONES ALIVE AND I’M DANGLING OFF A GIANT CLIFF SCREAMING MY FUCKING ASS OFF, I WILL NOT SCREAM FOR YOU TO HELP BECAUSE I HAVE GIVEN UP ON YOU AND ALL I CAN EXPECT FROM YOU IS A TOTAL AND COMPLETE FAILURE OF AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE MY POOR PATHETIC LITTLE LIFE.
CG: SO, JUST..GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING. AS LONG AS IT DOESNT INVOLVE YOU PUTTING YOUR DISGUSTING DRIPPING MAWL ALL OVER OUR DRINKS.
CA: nobody wwill notice a thing kar and evven if they did itd be a pleasant taste or wwhatever
CG: SHUT UP AND COUNT YOUR FAYGO.
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Wow.
Wow.
